Retro City Rampaging Across All Formats!

Well, almost all formats.

Remember that update that Retro City Rampage creator Brian Provinciano promised us last week? It came today, and it is a good one. No longer will you be confined to experiencing the throwback madness on XBLA and WiiWare, but now also on PlayStation Vita, PlayStation Network, and of course Steam. How's that for a doozy? And the Steam version is chock full of bonus goodies that will make any multi-console owner lean toward picking up that PC copy. Feel the burn, iOS/Android gamers!

So sit back, relax, watch this latest trailer - which is another frantic ode to the 80s that RCR has just about mastered - and wait for the spring release date. Preorder that bitch right here! 

Shank 2: A Probable Get

In case you may not have heard, Shank 2 has released! As I toil away here at work, I am imagining what it would be like to put on the bandana (and chainsaw, and machete, and shotgun, and pistols, etc) again. Just the thought is making me glow like a New Jersian guido.

The original Shank was a wild romp of blood, weaponry, and style; three things that rank highly on my food chart of consumable dopeness. Look for a review up here very soon, but in the mean time you should probably play it yourself. With better visuals, more ridiculous scenarios, outrageous costumes, and tightened gameplay, I think Shank 2 will be worth your $10. 

Dustforce: Sweep the Ledge, Johnny

The Independent game scene is a frequent mess, but here is Dustforce to clean things up in this early part of 2012. Half tricky platformer and half high-school janitor, Dustforce has the allure of simplicity skinned over a core of wicked difficulty by way of its demand for perfection. Wanna know why you would play a game about cleaning?

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Don't Brush Off Dustforce

Dear readers,

I apologize for not taking the time out of my schedule sooner to discuss Dustforce. It's one of those games that I've been following closely, though I've never quite had the time to share with you. I figured this would be as good a day as any to bring Dustforce to light, since it will be releasing on Steam on January 17, a mere two days time. 

Dustforce is a game about cleaning. Say what? Yes, cleaning. Like myself and many other level-headed adults, you probably hate cleaning. So, this raises two questions. First, why would anyone make a game about cleaning? And second, why should you care about that game? How bold and brash of developers Hitbox Team to create a title centered around such a hated chore! Dustforce takes your grade school janitor, gives him the skill-set of a ninja, puts you in control, and says "have fun!" How could that not be enjoyable? You air dash, double-jump, and wall jump through 50 plus dust, leaf, slime, and garbage infested stages in which you sweep, buff, and vaccuum while fending off polluted pugilists. Don't brush it off, because it really looks like a bucket of fun.

Dustforce has all the makings of an OBG classic. Unique, stylish art and animation? Smooth, fast-paced action? Head-noddable soundtrack? Replays? Leaderboards? Yes. And though it's local only, they've even included multiplayer modes for the group of friends or family who clean together. I hate cleaning, but I think I'll love Dustforce. Get it on Steam on January 17.

Rage: Beautiful Decay

Rage is fucking gorgeous. I haven't seen many games look this good on console (I played on 360). Though the first half of the game takes place in a literal wasteland, the world is deliciously depicted through the id Tech 5 engine. Towns - even the drab desert city of Wellspring - are teeming with personality, in everything from their denizens to the bills posted on the job board. Once you move on to the city of Subway Town later in the game, prepare for an amicable assault in the most visual sense. Fucking gorgeous. The main drawback here is the frustration inducing texture pop-in that afflicts most every area of the game. Look, I don't know much about the development process, hardware limitations, or 3D modeling. But a game as pretty as Rage shouldn't be affected by such a dumb design drawback as pop-in. It's annoying to be completely entranced by this artificial world only to be taken back to reality when you notice the textures around you take a split second or slightly longer to load in. Sure, it may not sound like much, but it's noticeable, and it sucks. Though pop-in aside, Rage is best looking game I've played all year.

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Renegade Ops: Micro Machine Guns

Avalanche Studios have a certain inclination for over-the-top action and destruction. The very first time I played Just Cause, though unrefined, I knew the Swedish developers were very capable. Their idea of ludicrous action, massive explosions, and stunt driving came to fruition in the Godlike comedic action of Just Cause 2. So here is Renegade Ops, a vehicular combat title that tries to capture the beautiful destruction of the Just Cause games while scaling down to the size of Micro Machines. John Moschitta Jr. not included.

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No Kidding, Stranger! Bastion is Almost Flawless

I was raised in an age where games didn't need hyper-realistic graphics, bathtubs full of blood, or the London Philharmonic Orchestra to make an impact. Gameplay trumps all. Bastion is a neat little digitally distributed title that is rooted deep in this old-school-of-thought, providing classic 32-bit action, with a helping of beautiful hand drawn art and a quite literal take on the narrative.

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RAGE Takes You to Dead City, Death Ensues

More RAGE is always a good thing, at least in regards to id Software's upcoming video game. Rage at the workplace or at school could lead to expulsion and anger management classes, so please try to avoid that if you can.

Here's your good RAGE news of the day: preorder pretty much anywhere that matters (Amazon, Steam, Direct-to-Drive, *mutters* Gamestop) and you'll have your order automatically upgraded to the 'Anarchy' Edition, free of charge. Not only does this special set have a kick-ass name, but it comes with a ménage à quatre of useful in-game items; a double barrel shotty, slick Crimson Elite armor, bladed knuckle dusters, and a 'Rat Rod' buggy. That's gear that could fetch $5 on the DLC tip, yours for donuts.

Speaking of gear, RAGE seems to be all about the weapon selection. In the latest trailer, a full 5 minutes of impressive gameplay across a rather lively place called Dead City, we see weapons aplenty. Shotguns, sniper rifles, some sort of useless crossbow, rocket launchers, pistols that fire a whole damn clip at once, and even a shuriken-chakram deal that takes off heads. That's my type of mutant-maiming device.

Aside from playing host to a cavalcade of uniquely designed mutant mashers, RAGE is easy on the eyes. Check out the facial expressions and body movements of the old Russian dude sending you on your quest. That's some top flight animation right there, L.A. Noire be damned.

RAGE is still a few months away, releasing September 13. That's plenty of time to stew in your own desires for this one, especially since there will be a few more trailers like this to amp you up. Don't let a few measly months turn you away, preorder NAO!

RAGE Anarchy Edition Preorder Bonus Gallery

Boots, the Final Portal 2 Investment Opportunity Video

Have you ever wondered how Chell -- Aperture Science test subject and protagonist of the Portal series -- has survived all those nasty falls with nary a sprained ankle? It's gotta be the boots! For Valve and Aperture Laboratories fourth and final investment opportunity video, Cave Johnson explains it all. 

So there you have it. Four good reasons to invest in Aperture Science. Though they appear to be between banks, so please make your checks out to cash. Portal 2 releases exactly one week from today, on April 19. We're done here!